Packers 28 Seahags 23
The elder of the budding Dynastic Duo listened and scanned the surroundings through dark shades despite a cold, dark night in Janesville, Wisconsin. He had to admit these clandestine meetings were getting more dicey. “Don’t get too big for your britches, Matty. We’ve got two big ones to go. We need Aaron motivated like Tony Robbins. Stick to the script and stay in your lane. This is a front office-level op.”
His wingman, hat brim pulled down to his also tinted lenses, frowned with “and I don’t dig Janesville. Wish we could’ve met the Russki at Boxcar’s on Allen Street in Clinton. Really sucks that this is the first Wednesday of the month, when they have Comedy Night from November through April. Way too crowded, would’ve been spotted for sure. But man, I love the “Boxcar Special.” Nothing like pizza with sauce, mozzarella, ham, and a healthy mound of sauerkraut! God Bless Wisconsin!”
The GM responded “Do you ever stop thinking of food? How are you so damn skinny?”
They ducked into their des-tination, 3501 Milwaukee Street, otherwise known East Side Sportz Pub. They immediately made their way to a back booth, where three shadowy characters awaited stoically as they sat. The GM immediately hissed, “Slava, what the hell are you trying to pull? You were supposed to come solo!?”
The young Russian gestured to the man on his left and said “meet Bogdan. Ukrainian. Turns out, we hacked you, we hacked him, he hacked us both. Very unfortunate. This other comrade is Nikita. He hacked all of us. He is King Missile now.” The GM and Matty both pondered: Hmmm. Russians hacking us, Ukrainians hacking us, they hack each other, we’re hacking them, who’s hacking who? Why did it all seem so strangely familiar?
Matty asked, “’Nikita?’ Like the Elton John song? Like Little Nikita with the late River Phoenix?” All three nodded in unison. The GM asked “Like Khruschev?” They each froze, staring menacingly at him, and slowly shook their heads in three-way stereo. Not wanting to start another Cold War, The Americans changed the subject. “You know what we need. And for the record, No Quid Pro Quo. We need the same onslaught of negative posts, memes, bots, and all else digital, et al, just like before. Same Bot Time, Same Bot Channel, if you will. The narrative repeats: ‘Aaron Rodgers has lost it, Diva, Overrated, Jimmy G, the Packers have no chance,’ as it were. You handle it, Da? The slow nod of Nikita’s scowling Slavic visage signaled the end of the meeting. The Duo scooped their carry out and passed tables of drunks in tacky bowling shirts and a couple guys in camo and safety orange. They fist-bumped as no one offered even a glance; they were entranced on a TV showing vintage Ric Flair matches (“HOOOOOOO!!!”). The GM chose the Walleye Dinner, best in Janesville, Clinton, and possibly even Beloit. Always hungry, Matty got the Chicken Special, an insane deal with 16 pieces, four sides, and eight rolls for $27…
There are four teams left and this just in: One will be the champion. The Packers may be the underdog the rest of the way no matter how it shakes out. After all, they are “the worst (13-3) team in NFL history.” Actually, let’s make that (14-3)…
The Packers held on after a great start to go a long way toward exorcising the demons from Seattle. Rodgers outdueled one of many QBs in Russell Wilson who are now considered “better” than AR12. His Brother from Another Mother, Davante Adams, had eight catches for 160 yards, all eight for first downs. The Pack went 9/14 on third down, something they didn’t do at San Francisco earlier this year. Rodgers said they have developed an “unspoken communication” like he had with Jordy. Fantastic. But the rest of the receivers have been lost like Amelia Earhart. Gute brought in Canadian League sensation WR Reggie Begelton, but he’s a gift much like the savings bonds my Aunt Maggie gave me when I was a kid: The adults seem to be excited and tell you it’s great for your future, you know you’re supposed to believe it and it’s probably true, but you really wanted the GI Joe in jungle fatigues with parachute or maybe the Lincoln Logs…
I’m a Soldier in the Packer Army. To be clear: Yo no soy marinero (soldado), soy Capitan. But I’m wounded, scarred after all the years of Packer Plane Crashes in the playoffs. So many trophies left to be inherited by the meek. I’m so broken that I was honestly a little surprised the Pack actually won. Of course, it wasn’t rational, but where does “rational” fit into this equation? The Packers are a really good team, maybe champion-caliber. We can feel it. The 175-plus fans at Spare Time for the game were true believers, and it wasn’t because of the nacho bar…
The NFC Championship, much like the Seattle victory, will be about the here and the now. The Suck Feattle history proved irrelevant, the same is true for this week. Adjustments will be made by teams that are both much different in many ways than that first brutal encounter. We knew it would probably come down to this when we lost earlier. I get it, they’re loaded everywhere, in all phases. They ran the ball between the tackles like 15 times in a row to close out the Queenies when every-one in the country except Zippy with his juice box knew they were going to run. They have Jimmy G at QB, the three-way love child of Pete Sampras, Teresa Giudice and the guy with the prosthetic leg who actually killed Richard Kimball’s wife in The Fugitive…
The City of San Francisco is a sad commentary on urban mismanagement and political correctness run amok. They have allowed a world-class historic and cultural jewel to flush into a festering sewer. On Packer Army’s march through ‘Frisco to Santa Clara, we will have to step over the piles of steaming trash and crap and navigate (and possibly nego-tiate, as we will be hopelessly outnumbered) our safe passage through the homeless strongholds that dot the metro area. Then, the culture clash coming into the stadium, where the snowflakes and techies are locked in on their handheld devices. Meanwhile, Packer Army’s concept of “handheld device” includes, among other things, a beer bong or maybe your brat-and-cheese-fed (but super cute) girl’s Muffin Top…
Post Script: Happy Trails and RIP to the Elkhart Central High School, the Blue Blazers and the iconic “Mr B” mascot. My Alma Mater will close its doors for good after this year. They will merge will arch-rival Elkhart Memorial to form “Elkhart High School,” a bastardized, grab-asstic, PC, redheaded-stepchild abomination which, like many such total jokes, dismays and offends all involved and impacted. It’s a sad day for history and tradition in the City With a ‘Hart…
Final word on “exorcising the demons.” We banished one to the Depths of Hell when we smacked up on Seattle. But The Hunger is insatiable. There is only one way to truly, finally, exorcise the rest. We know what that means. Piss on the savings bond! We need the GI Joe, the Lincoln Logs, an Erector Set, Lite Brite, and Evel Knievel! Which is Russian (or Ukrainian?) hackerspeak for another St Vince Trophy! Yahtzee! HOOOOOOO!!!
Go, Pack, GO!!!
(Kraig Pringle)
Just Sayin’
As for the defense, I think they were getting gassed towards the end of the game. Russell Wilson is good, no doubt about that. And his ability to escape from potential sacks or hits is crazy. I mean, our guys wound up with 6 sacks, but how many more did they almost have. They were pretty good against the run, aside from the Wilson scrambled. And the secondary was pretty darn good on the backside as well.
So, here come the 49ers. Or actually, there go the Packers. I know we all remember the disaster that happened in week 12. That was downright hideous. That was even after a bye. Maybe the bye was the problem. Since that disaster, the team has been getting better, except for the Detroit game. We have a much more formidable opponent this week than we have faced in a while. Their running attack is good. They have one of the best TEs in the league. They have a good WR corp. They have a fierce pass rush. What they do not have is the ever elusive QB. Will that be enough? We have been pretty good against the run lately. We have some pretty good DBs. We have a pretty good pass rush ourselves. Our OL in playing pretty good. One has to hope that Matt LeFleur and staff learned a lot from that beat down and have a good game plan for this Sunday. And let’s hope that AR12 has some good touch and rhythm and is in sync with the WRs. Lazard should be back. Maybe to catch SF off guard, there could be some throws to Kumerow, Tonyan and Lewis. Maybe even a couple of quick flips to Jace Sternberger. That sure would throw them off. You know, look for someone besides Adams occasionally. And maybe they could go up-tempo, 2 minute drill type of offense and see how that works. I think they need more quick passes. I am thinking positive on this one and think we are going to playing again on Feb. 2…
Just Sayin’
(Jimmy Smith)
GPB in our SPARE TIME
589 Kathy McGrew
590 Mike Garrow
591 Steve Young.
We also want to thank Spare Time for the nacho bar they provided for us at half time. It was delicious!
Lots of great plays, so lots of great door prizes went home with the lucky members whose numbers were drawn. 536 Ralph Fechhelm has a set of pint glasses, 123 Kraig Pringle chose a travel mug, and 580 Mike Garrow will be enjoying his beverage from a coffee mug. 241 Tiffany Bailey has a soup bowl. 535 Mary Ann Fechhelm and 520 Michele Morgan chose shirts, 575 Alan Reed has a great tie, and 431 Jan Zlebek will be wearing a great stocking cap. 263 Patricia Zumbach will snuggle under her new blanket. 132 Sharon Schulz will be playing checkers. 571 Tommy Zumbach will be keeping his “stash” is his new wallet, while 324 Larry Schilz is keeping time with his new watch. Our newest advertiser is 561 Dawn Joachim who chose a license plate frame.
We filled two dollar boards and a 50₵ board this week for the football pool. Winners of the dollar board were 536 Ralph Fechhelm, 132 Sharon Schulz, 328 Marge Bramlett, 453 Leon Stenzel, 474 Jill Fant, 127 Kent Sargent, 241 Tiffany Bailey, and 101 Jamie Ware. Winners of the 50₵ board were 576 Lisa Reed, 328 Marge Bramlett, 243 Kasi White, and 241 Tiffany Bailey. 560 Larry Joachim correctly answered the trivia question this week. He won a $25 gift card from the great folks at Spare Time.
And the saga continues. Our divisional championship game is Sunday at 6:40. If you were at Spare Time last Sunday, you know how much fun it is to cheer with the great number of Packer backers. If you weren’t able to be with us last week, I’m inviting you to join us for all the fun. My challenge is to shoot for 200 Packer Backers on Sunday. Remember, it’s up to us to cheer our Packers through thick and thin! See you Sunday
(Marge 328)
Packer’s vs. Santa Clara
I was on Jeopardy! I have a vast array of trivia stuck up in my brain that I can call upon. Like this weekend I went to the movies, a trailer came on and said, “Academy Award Winner Ben Affleck,” the person next to me asked “What did he win an Oscar for?” I could have said for Argo, I went for the more esoteric, “He won for best screenplay with Matt Damon for Good Will Hunting.” See? Trivia!
Now, why did I bring up trivia? Anyone remember 21 years ago? I do! It’s 1998, the Green Bay Packers are still THE GREEN BAY PACKERS! They are winning against the San Francisco 49ers. Steve Young throws a pass to Jerry Rice in the waning seconds (:44 to be exact). Rice is in a thunderous collision with 2 Packers and fumbles. Refs call him down, blow the call, despite the fact that he’s looking right at it!! In the 1998 season there was no instant replay, it would be reinstated next year. Young hits Owens with :03 seconds left and the Packers get hosed. Packer players are so disgusted half have already walked down the tunnel and an extra point is required by rule. The Packers stood with their hands on their hips basically during the kick. I don’t think it was even the full extra point team, just a bunch of guys slow getting off the field.
Oh man, I was so hot. STEAMING!! Unlike most, I never had a real problem with instant replay, “it slows down the game” so what?! It’s 3+ hours long anyway! Remember this weekend when the refs had instant replay and we STILL got hosed??
I’m not even going to bring up more recent history, aka The Harbaugh Era and why he got fired. He got fired because “he wasn’t nice!” “I’m trying to win football games, I don’t have time to be nice!” His hand-picked QB had also regressed. You know the one, the one everyone is screaming should still be playing. My feeling is this; if he was so good, he’d still be playing. Kneeling, sitting, it wouldn’t matter. “Just Win Baby!”
Still with me? Good! The San Francisco Minor 49ers had 7 first downs against the Viqueens last week. Now who held the Viqueens to just 7 first downs a few weeks ago? Don’t tell me…the NFC North Champion Green Bay Packers!! I’m not saying that the Packers defense is on par with Minnesota. It’s probably not, but put 7 in the box and double Kittle. Make Jimmy G. (Shout out to the Eastern Illinois University Panthers!) beat you. He threw a pick last week and the next 10 plays were hand offs. Gap control for the Packers D will be critical! Set the edge, bring Rashan (Gary) or Preston (Smith) crashing in and get them in the backfield. Tackling drills for all linebackers!
Somebody for the love of God get Brian Bulaga some fluids! We will need him and David Bakhtiari at there best to give Aaron some time. I don’t care if we dink and dunk, move the chains! Speaking of 12, we need him to be AARON FREAKING RODGERS for the next 2 games. We need to beat the 49ers and make the AFC Champion very afraid. Then run over them with Aaron…Jones! It hasn’t been a great season by Air-ron’s standards. He’s trusting the process and playing Matt Lefleur’s system. He sometimes has to improvise, but for the most part he’s stayed within the lines and hasn’t drawn up a play in the dirt. We will need a little bit of that magic this weekend. We’ve played 4 NFC Cham-pionships in the Aaron Rodgers area and only won one. We’re due! They lost to the Seahawks in the regular season. We beat the Seahawks in the Post season. Let’s see what happens now!
ALL HAIL THE KING of the NORTH!! GO PACK!! GO!!!
(Ken Hill)
